Last night, seemingly the entire nation sat to watch the #4Nations game between the United States and Canada to determine which country can claim to be the birthplace of hockey greatness. Within 2 seconds, everyone watching knew they were in store for an instant classic.
Nothing screams "MY COUNTRY IS BETTER THAN YOURS!" quite like disregarding the face-off and both gloves to throw haymakers to start the game with the world watching. We've seen this before though, right? A couple of brawlers chucking em off to see who's the bigger badass. Something we haven't seen is the little brother taking note and saying alright motherfuckers, my turn.
As a novice hockey fan, I couldn't have been more captivated. You boo our Anthem that's all fine and well but the Tkachuk brothers are going to tell your boys something about it in the form of a right hand to the kisser and leave you Spittin' Chiclets.
Those are the tough guys, bash brothers if you will, so that had to be the end of it right? WRONG.
How about our small guy goes after the biggest motherfucker on the ice and says "Sorrey eh, but you're gonna have to drink your syrup through a straw too, ya hoser."
The first 9 seconds of this #4nations game were debatably the greatest seconds to start a sports contest I've ever watched and I was hooked throughout the contest just waiting patiently for the next jacked-up moment. I also think it locked the boys on both sides in for battle, it was good for the game. For instance, when McDavid scored and then got de-cleated right into an answer by the USA.
So I thought, what other rivalries/contests should allow fighting? I know the fight-a-fan rule proposed by Big Cat to Commissioner Adam Silver will never hit across the league, so here are five games in which the "Fuck it, let 'em fight" rule should apply.
The Game
For over a century, Scarlet & Gray VS Maze & Blue has captivated college football and written stories of so many legends of the game. So what if each team sent out a gladiator or 3, or 11 (fuck it) to set the tone for the game? No helmets, No cleat stomps, No ejections. Win or lose you'd have the boys on both sides even more prepared for battle. Better yet, let Day and Moore slug it out so Day can at least stop trying to play their brand of ball after an ass-whooping and focus on the actual game for once. Sorry loser talk I know, but I'm bitter every time I see those colors.
This could also apply to whatever you believe to be the biggest rivalry for your team and their season but let's be honest, The Game is the biggest rivalry in College Football. The Army VS Navy brawl before the game would be electric as well.
Any AFC North Game
Cold, bitter, and angry. That's how the AFC North plays each other. You can hear it in the commentary, especially when that asshole Tony Romo is on the mic. "Oooooh I don't know Jim, these teams hate each other."
AFC North football has long held the standard for grit and toughness across the NFL and there is nothing tougher than kicking a punter in the face or lowering the boom on the middle linebacker right after he concusses your star guy. So to avoid unnecessary injury, just let the boys have a quick brawl and get back to the action. The only caveat is no massages after. Frankly, we're starting to house too many fellas with a bad rap sheet with masseuses.
The Subway Series
I was very close to putting Yankee's VS Red Sox but there's something that just means more about letting two teams who represent the same city go to blows before deciding who actually runs this town. Imagine a 7 game world series between these two but we get to watch them box before the first pitch of each game. ELECTRIC!
MAKE IT HAPPEN MANFRED! THINK ABOUT THE RATINGS!
Lakers VS Celtics
This is just out of respect for the greatest, most decorated franchises in the history of the NBA who just may be on a collision course soon enough (Luka Bias, I'm sorry).
Again though, imagine Kobe, Pau, and Metta World Peace coming out of the tunnel for a quick scrap with Pierce, Allen, & KG before taking the series the distance. Obviously, we would have to turn injuries off but it would have meant so much more!
Caitlin Clark VS Angel Reese
Of course, I had to show respect to the women of the sports world but since the US National team would kick the shit out of everyone else because of #Merica, my mind instantly navigated to Clark VS Reese.
I know what you're thinking, "Reese is so much bigger! Not fair Sandos!". To that, I say you're wrong. I'm giving Clark the edge in mobility, accuracy, coordination, and speed. While Reese may outmuscle her, I think Caitlin's got that dog in here and could send her packing more times than not. Caitlin's got some serious speed with that right hand, just watch her zipping footballs one after another! #Athlete #Her
This rule may need to be amended when JuJu Watkins enters the league, she's a monster.
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